Monday, July 4, 2011

God's answer to my expectations

God's answer was "yes." He met everyone of my expectations with regards to my trip to Guatemala. But I had another expectation - one that I did not add to the list. Why? Perhaps because I was not sure how I would respond. Perhaps because it could be too embarrassing or too private. Perhaps because someone might ask me about God's answer. I remembered past revelations and ... lots of reasons not to go there. But I should have added to the list that I expected God to reveal something new to me about myself. Some of my past lessons have been painful yet always tempered by God's promise of love and faithfulness.

So... drumroll...my revelation this year has everything to do with divine appointments.

It seems to be typical behavior in Latino cultures to "wait." Perhaps our American frustration with this has to do with our demand upon ourselves to be accountable for every moment. We attribute way too much of our value or worth to how busy we are. Anyway, at Casa you wait - a lot! I waited to talk to Jaimie about our schedule with the Doncellas. I waited to talk with Pastor Dave about our schedule with the boys. I waited on Mike to discuss the future of a young girl I love. I waited on ...let's just say I waited a lot. But a strange thing happened each time I was still and patient and available. A divine appointment took place! An appointment with potential. An appointment that could have eternal consequences.

For example, I was told that Pastor Dave would return soon (whatever that means). I chose to spend my "waiting" time with a couple of teenage boys who were sitting by his front door. Soon there were 6 boys and a fellow teammate huddled together. The questions that the boys asked! My, My! "What will it be like when I leave Casa? How should I transition into the world beyond these walls? When should I leave - before University or after? What does the Bible say about drunkenness? Why? What is your favorite Bible verse? Why?"

I may not be sure of the value of my answers but I do know that there was great value in the relationships that were rooted in love and caring. A mother's advice given for what it was worth-to be heeded or ignored. But spoken in love.

As I process my experiences of "waiting," I cannot help but ponder how rushed I allow myself to become in the states. When and where do I miss divine appointments? When do I make myself unavailable? Where am I unavailable for God's use? Where am I unavailable for relationships - new and old?

Unavailable - I don't like that word. Maybe because it is never found in God's character. Jesus says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me" (Revelation 3:20). Now that is availability!

God help me change my perspective to one of availability. I choose to slow down and open my eyes to your divine appointments. Thank You that You are always willing to be found - just a prayer away!

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